Two guys are in a locker room after their racquetball game when one guy notices the other has a cork in his buttock. "If you don't mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks terribly uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?"

"I can't," lamented the first man. "It's permanent."

"I don't understand," said the other.

The first guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge man in a turban came oozing out.

He said, "I am Hasan the Genie. I can grant you one wish." And I said, "No sh*t."